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Our friends for more than 20 years, who has overcome many hardships, her resilience is commendable. However, she's repeatedly taken by surprise by people. Her husband walked away, which came as a huge shock. Many of close acquaintances vanished at that point, since they had been focused solely on the spouse. This surprised her. She made increased attention to be my friend, probably grasped better what friendship was.

The Pattern In Relationships

In the time since, several close to her have disappeared and she isn't knowing the cause. Her last employer suddenly changed toward her, although she had been an excellent employee, she departed without knowing the reason for the change.

How Things Stand Now

In recent times, we've both retired so we're spending frequent meetups, however, I feel the part I play in our friendship is to listen. I open subjects but she shifts the talk toward her own topics. In terms of politics, she has strong opinions. My effort is to suggest double-checking information or other angles.

She's been planning a holiday abroad I know well on several occasions even called home previously. I attempted to offer personal experiences, but this was not welcomed. She essentially just desired validation of her choices. I've just returned from four weeks in that country and she wants to meet, yet I'm reluctant.

Weighing the Options

I hesitate to act as a friend that walks away without a word, however, I feel she can comprehend the effect of her behaviour on how I feel about myself. Right now, my state is pulling back. How should I proceed?

Possible Paths

One option is to end things abruptly, however, that approach is seldom the easy answer we imagine. However, addressing it with the goal of working things out requires bravery and willingness from both people.

Experts suggest applying a useful conflict resolution tool:

"Step one requires explaining what typically happens during your discussions. It should be objective and clear like exactly what occurs. Step two is to tell her how it makes you feel. This allows for no dispute on this point. What you feel belong to you, of course. The third step is to ask how the two of you going to change the interaction between you."

Remember that she also holds perspectives, meaning you must to remain ready to hear that. An approach that works involves stating your friend:

"Please share your thoughts and I promise to remain silent for half an hour."

It's remarkably successful to encourage mutual respect.

Final Thoughts

This person might reject all you say, since certain individuals have a deep-seated story: they maintain a story regarding their experiences they're unable to let go of as it feels essential is tied to it and it's all they trust. It's tough as there is no clear path here, mere obstacles. However, she might start out like this then consider your perspective. If you don't achieve a resolution, it will give you peace from having been open and direct.